I recently had the opportunity to go out on country with a respected Gumbaynggirr man living and working in the Bellinger Valley. I’ve come to know him in a short time as a storyteller, photographer, culture man and healer.
Image by Bernard K Edwards, Never Never Creek in the Promised Land
Early in a conversation with him, I commented that one must learn to love themselves first, before they can love others. Later that day, we are sitting on a fallen tree across the Never Never River in the beautiful Promised Land, looking out over refreshing, crystal clear water gently flowing over the river rocks. I am reflecting on my happy life and questioning why I should be so lucky to have things always fall my way, while other people are not so lucky. I’ve never had anything traumatic occur that has changed the course of my life, in fact, quite the opposite – I’ve been able to achieve all the goals I have been able to set myself, without any barriers or hiccups. Putting aside the fact that my white skin automatically gives me privileges over other cultural groups, I attributed my “success” in life to my parents that had provided a safe, loving, healthy home, surrounded by nature and fresh air on Victoria’s farming country, protected from the worries of the world. My companion politely pulls me up “do you not think, that YOU have had something to do with it?” and points out the contradiction with my earlier statement – YOU must love yourself before you can love others. He goes on to share that once we have left our mother’s arms, we are out on our own. As adults, we are responsible for our own decisions. The choices we make in life are ours alone and cannot be attributed to our parents.
I think about this in silence as the water trickles below my feet and a tiny blue bird visits a nearby rock. It would not have been possible to learn how to love myself without the love of my parents to show me that I am worth loving. But I get his point. There comes a point as adults when we have to take responsibility for our own choices in life. This is what it means to love and respect yourself. To know that YOU are truly worthy of setting the course of your life. And no one else can do that for you.
I peer into the reflection of the water now cooling my feet. Water knows how to flow. It learnt this from mother earth since the beginning of time. The fallen tree does not prevent the water from doing what it wants to do. It finds a way to flow through, around, up and over. And new life springs forth from the rotting tree.
As you reflect on the love that others have provided you this Valentine’s Day, consider what nature can teach you about loving yourself? What choices will you take today, on the path towards love? Make a decision today, knowing that the universe has your back!
Image by Bernard K Edwards
Welcome back to ‘Talk the Walk’ in 2018. Supervision goes under the microscope in this podcast episode with my guest, Barry Sullivan. Like many social workers, Barry came to the profession after more than 20 years in teaching. Arriving in Darwin in 1998, Barry started out in school counselling, before joining Relationships Australia where he has been ever since.
A new year is a good opportunity to reflect on the time that has come to pass, as well as set intentions for the future. But there is something to be said about just appreciating the present moment too.
There’s something about the blue sky, the sparse landscape and the weaving of cultural stories that drew Louise O’Connor to Australia’s red centre. Far from her homeland of Ireland and not satisfied with the big city lights of Melbourne, Louise O’Connor packed up her meagre belongings and head to Alice Springs. She found herself working with the Ngaanyatjarra Pitjantatjara Yankunytjatjara Women’s Council as a Domestic and Family Violence Case Worker and hasn’t looked back. Since arriving, Louise has been drawn to narrative therapy as an approach for working respectfully with Aboriginal women. She now supports a team of case workers implementing the Council’s new domestic and family violence prevention framework developed in consultation with the Australian Childhood Foundation and the large group of women they support in the NPY lands. Louise brought with her a long history of case work with refugees and asylum seekers, youth and people at risk of homelessness or in crisis, both in Australia and Ireland. Louise’s passion for sharing stories and helping others tell theirs shines through in my conversation this week on ‘Talk the Walk’.
Today’s conversation on ‘Talk The Walk’ has many gems, but particularly for counsellors and social workers interested in developing an evidence based program that is also culturally safe. Doug Dunlop is a senior counsellor with the ‘Holding Children Together’ program based in Alice Springs and working with surrounding town camps. Doug is part of the team leading a rigorous evaluation process, developed and mentored by the Australian Childhood Foundation and a Cultural Advisory Group. In episode 17 of Talk the Walk, we also get a glimpse into the man behind the work; his historical roots, his life experience, the values and principles he brings to his trauma-informed, culturally-safe practice framework.
If you work in the area of trauma counselling, chances are you have an organisation or colleagues keeping a watchful eye out for the first signs and symptoms of burnout or vicarious trauma.
What a delight it was to be speaking with Tileah Drahm-Butler this week on ‘Talk the Walk’, about her journey into narrative therapy and her approach to working with Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people. Tileah’s passion for social work and giving Aboriginal people a voice shines through in this conversation. We also gain insight into the woman behind the work and the long list of inspiring women in her family that stand behind her.
You don’t have to search too far to listen to the stories of despair, destruction or trauma in Aboriginal communities. These are widely played out in our media. However if we listen with intention much deeper, we will find something richer and more telling. The absent but implicit in these stories, are signs of strength, hope and resilience.
